Thursday, January 7, 2010

No No Michael Jackson...THIS is it!!!

2010 is here and under way. As many of you know I was having to wait until January to get the ball rolling on going down to Duke to be evaluated for this double lung transplant. This is why I have not had any updates in a couple months. Well, contact has been made and the first punch has been thrown in this fight. They are validating my new insurance coverage and I am supposed to be set up with an appointment by the end of the week. This reality is starting to set in a little and to be honest, it is a lot of mixed emotions that I feel. The worse case is that I could not even make it through the surgery. The best is that I go through and live a long life. I feel that God has some big plans for me and after countless prayers I still feel like this is something I have to go do. I have shocked the doctors several times in the last few years and I hope God has one more shock in store for them that has yet to come. I pray that I will continue to face this with the same peace and faith He has given me in the past.
Whatever the outcome of this I can say that I took a leap of faith and went the distance to get my health back. Right now I use oxygen around the clock and honestly I feel like a bird in a cage. I feel like I can't really live like this. I am too young to just settle and even though it is a gamble to get a transplant due to the risks of rejection, if I don't I will be giving up on myself and God. I know He can bring me through this and I will endure what I have to so that he may show up and show out once again. I will start blogging much more now so check back regularly.
2010 is the year I have declared to be my big return. My return to health, life and a sense of normalcy. I have started by changing more in my diet, getting back to some exercise (using one of those big exercise balls and some Power Block dumbbells)  so that I can do some weight training. Its no where near the old days of going to the gym 4 or 5 days a week and mountain biking but it is a start. Who knows, I could be running a marathon in a couple years. Nah....I wouldn't do that if I were perfectly healthy. Ha ha. I think I will stick to the gym with weights and some cardio and mountain biking if all goes well. This is the year. This is the time. THIS IS IT.

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